My Guru Kevin: Why I Keep a Psychic on Retainer and Why He Hates Being Called That
I know some people are reading my posts and thinking, “Emily, when did you get so clever?” What? No one is thinking that? That's just me? Ah well. But I know there are people from my past who are wondering when I switched from proselytizing the about the collapse of civilization (in a hopeful way, I thought that would be the best thing for humanity back then) to proselytizing about spiritual matters. I know because for one thing I got a comment on that very matter:
“I'm curious, how did you make this shift in your beliefs? I am struggling with that myself ... And maybe you'll share at some point how you went from "radical anti-civilizationalist" to your current status.”
Without telling you my whole life story I will just say that I've always been open to spirituality. My mother is vaguely spiritual and when I was growing up she worked at the library. None of us ever picked our own library books. She would pick them for us according to our interests, and she was very good at it. So she stocked me with classics like Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, even Linda Goodman's Sun Signs as well as books on herbalism, yoga, shamanism, palm reading...everything but witchcraft. She wasn't down with witchcraft because, “All the girls who get out books on spells are fat, ugly, and have greasy dyed-black hair.” Hey, she said it, not me.
Fast forward 20 years, I'd been continuing to dabble in the esoteric all along, especially in relation to healing my chronic fatigue, but there were several specific factors leading up to my big paradigm shift and why I was able to easily let go of the old and embrace the new.
First of all I'd already mostly let go of rewilding because a)Due to certain drugs I would NOT recommend ingesting I'd undergone some long-lasting changes of my consciousness that resulted in a detached, agnostic, existentialist perception of life. “Reverse enlightenment” I called it, all of the non-duality and none of the bliss. b)Not only did I now find it hard to relate to strong convictions of any kind, favoring “no-truth”, but I was disillusioned with anarchism/radicalism and the personalities involved because I found the paranoia and unyielding idealism to the point of disregarding human psychology and decency a turn-off. c)Regardless of politics, I'd stopped doing most of my primitive skills and herbalism activities because even though I was hypothetically interested in them my chronic fatigue made life joyless.
I turned to spirituality once again but while mindfulness, awareness, and belief-questioning practices in the vein of The Power of Now, Loving What Is, or The Four Agreements matched my detachment well, they didn't help me find peace either. In fact, they kept me mired in bad situations trying to change myself. Turns out my ego needed more building and less busting.
As I told my commenter, David, I believe finally hitting rock bottom is what brought me to where I am now. I was back living with my parents at age 31, reeling from a difficult breakup on top of my everyday struggles with chronic fatigue. I'd seen many healers over the years, and was aware of many different approaches, none of which had offered substantial relief. I was still unsure of what the hell the real root of my problem was, what modality to choose next, and where to focus my efforts. I had a well-paid job (thanks universe for miraculously rewarding me with a surprise offer, no resume needed, no questions asked, mere days after leaving my vexatious ex!). I decided to consult three different medical intuitives on the matter and wherever their advice overlapped, I would do that.
Well, person number one told me I ought to take tree essences to correct the energetic trauma which she thought was the source of my illness and that I also needed specific herbs and supplements to rebuild my neurochemistry on the physical level. Looking back, I think the tree essences were kinda a crock of bull. Not that I think there is no “essence” to a flower essence. I know for sure there is because I used to teach people how to perceive it. I just think it was like applying a bandaid to a decapitation. At the time I ordered a few of the products she suggested.
I then emailed a few other well-known medical intuitives, but none of them got back to me. Around this time my friend Miles posted something on Facebook about a guy named Kevin he was working with, not a medical intuitive but a general intuitive who could help people with issues of money, relationships, health and so forth. I finally decided to check out his website and shoot him an email. He responded promptly, within hours, to my pitiful plea for help indicating that he suspected I was just an old soul who had lost their way:
Thank you for a very thorough email – you paint a very clear picture of where you are at!
I know you know this already, but it’s obvious in all of the various modalities that you have tried, that nothing has hit the root cause of your illness. If they had even come close, you would have felt it. I feel for you and, simultaneously, am not intimidated by what appears to be an intense battle.
And that was the beginning of a new era for me. I never contacted a third intuitive. And I'll tell you why:
First of all Kevin made my whole life make so much more sense. Once we talked he confirmed his suspicion that I was a very old soul. He was the first person to ever acknowledge that and it felt very RIGHT. He explained that the reason none of that stuff had worked for me when it seemed to be working for everyone else around me was because the healers I sought were not at or beyond my level of soul development and therefore couldn't fully see me. He wrote to me in one of our first email exchanges:
I think this in part is what is finally going to set you free…to finally have someone that can actually see YOU! You are likely too big or too bright for most people. Likely everyone you have ever come in to contact with.
I know that to a skeptic that sounds like mere flattery, some reverse version of the gypsy ploy where they tell you you're cursed but they can remove it for a fee. But if that is what you are thinking, that is only because you haven't experienced the powerhouse of Truth that is Kevin. Besides, the monetary explanation didn't make sense. I soon entered into an unlimited sessions agreement with him for a flat rate, and a discounted one at that, and believe me, I took advantage of it. No sane person would enter into an on-call scenario like this just for the money. Not to mention there have been numerous times during our relationship when he worked with me for months for free and allowed me to pay him later. Does that sound like the actions of an unscrupulous swindler?
Perhaps you could argue that Kevin was crazy and was getting some kind of perverse egoic satisfaction from helping me but that didn't make sense either. He was doggedly sane and normal, even his name was painfully ordinary: Kevin Hodgson. I quickly found him to be the most integrated, logical, grounded, balanced, spiritual person I'd ever met, not afraid to call people on their bullshit, hilariously un-politically correct, and crass and aggressive where such things are deserved. It was incredibly satisfying hearing so many of my lifelong snarky (and, I thought, possibly just wrong) thoughts and perceptions finally get validated.
Responding to my initial concerns about whether he would be able to help me Kevin wrote:
I will be frank and to the point. I am not like anyone you have worked with before. I know this 100% because I know exactly who I am and what I can do and I have never seen it outside of me. I am completely embarrassed to be associated with 99% of the people who say they do what I do…they don’t! I applaud your skepticism and I truly feel that you have likely been beyond everyone that tried to help you…
Now, I'd been partially recognized before. I'd been told by many different healers that I was a lightworker, and even offered lots of free sessions because I reminded them of themselves and they felt it was their duty to help me step into my calling. But most of these people were flaky, not returning phone calls and emails in a timely manner and with proper grammar and spelling if at all, patronizing me and refusing to answer my legitimate questions, or canceling appointments due to personal dramas and injuries (not exactly an encouraging sign for a healer). Kevin on the other hand answered every question I could think of, returned every email within 24 hours, and has still never canceled a session.
Not only did so many of Kevin's statements hit home, but over time his perceptions and teachings and predictions proved themselves accurate. But when I say predictions I don't mean normal psychic predictions because as a “soul worker” he considers himself to be quite different and beyond the typical worlds of tarot, shamanism, ayahuasca, soul retrieval, Reiki, astrology, spirit guides, homeopathy, crystals and the like. Those are so often spiritual child's play, full of intolerable fluff, inaccuracies, inefficiencies, and projections. If there were a bootcamp for flakes to whip them into shape, Kevin would be the drill sergeant. Not that anyone should be scared to work with him for that reason. We've all been there, even him. Plus, it's hypothetically possible to practice under the visage of one of those modalities and be very integrated and authentic, just rare.
So if Kevin doesn't do that stuff what can he do? Well, he can do energy work. As an empath he can feel and process other people's energy in his own body. He can heal old traumas and speak to (or as) disparate parts of the psyche. He can make the occasional definite prediction, and point out many likely but indefinite paths based on an ability to see future timelines. He is able to match people's energies together romantically or otherwise to see if there could be a beneficial relationship, and can also read what their energy does in response to jobs they are considering taking, houses they are considering buying, and much more. He can even facilitate direct experiences of the higher realms (but we've never really done that one).
The thing is if you just fix people up and send them back out into the world without involving their consciousness in the process they can easily become reshattered. A lot of Kevin's work lies in teaching people a new paradigm and how to operate within it, for example, by taking full responsibility for what they have wittingly or unwittingly manifested, making healthy, discerning life choices, and interpreting synchronicities. This is the primary work that I do with Kevin. The good news for my readers who might be considering such an avenue, is that my work has been painstakingly slow due to the extent of my trauma and resistance to opening. Many people respond to the guidance very quickly.
I've been working with Kevin for nearly two years now and THAT, my friends is how I got so clever. To be honest, because of the stereotypical connotations, I am uncomfortable with admitting to having a “guru”. I feel like a huge chode. And I feel equally uncomfortable recommending that people talk to Kevin like I'm some zealot recruiting more members for my cult. But the truth is I feel strongly that our work has been beneficial to me and that most everyone could benefit by talking to Kevin or someone just like him.
So when I refer in a blog to taking advice from “Guru Kevin”, please know that I use that term somewhat jokingly and tongue-in-cheek to acknowledge the awkwardness of the relationship, but that since guru simply means “guide” or “teacher” it is also entirely true. For more information about who he is and what he does click here to check out his website (note: prices are in Canadian dollars which has a very favorable exchange rate right now).