I'm 5'8", 115 lbs, On a Diet and I Absolutely Hate It

I'm 5'8", 115 lbs, On a Diet and I Absolutely Hate It

Obviously I'm not dieting for the weightloss. I'm dieting for health, for my chronic fatigue. I hate being on a special diet. I'm no snob. I want to eat everything. I want to drink a quart of raw goats milk and then get a reuben and a chocolate shake from the Arby's drive through. I want pizza and buffalo wings dipped in ranch dressing followed up with a bowl of acorn-maple pudding. God, I love food. Pretty much all of it from the most preserved shit like Smore's poptarts (I can't type that without wanting to run to the gas station to find some) to straight from nature stuff like raw salmon belly sashimi and steamed nettles. I've called myself a "variety addict" and a "weird foodist". That person who gets the sea urchin or the quail fetus or the brains? That's me.

There are a lot of miracle stories out there about people who started their paleo autoimmune or specific carbohydrate or elimination diets and felt better almost immediately. I've tried them all and that's not me. At best how many headaches I get and the consistency of my bowels might change when I cut out certain foods. Other than that, nada. 

Oh and I stop reacting with intsa-phlem in my throat to everything I eat. It can be confusing because I still react with mild phlegm to a lot of things I eat, but if i eat wheat or dairy or corn or citric acid the phlegm tends to be really obvious and kinda of intense enough to be offputting. But that's a mere annoyance, not something I'm super grateful to see go. It sure would be helpful if say, my energy increased, or my pain decreased on one of these specialized diets. 

Maybe I have worms, or maybe I'm a carb addict, or maybe I just have bad hypoglycemia because even when I eat 2500 calories or more I'm always hungry. When I wake up in the morning my first thought is: "Here we go again," and that refers to the marathon of trying to keep myself satiated.

I think I have a stomach ulcer too. I've never had it diagnosed because its only one of a bajillion problems and I don't have the money, and I consider it more of a symptom that a root cause of my imbalance, but ever since I was a teenager my stomach has hurt something terrible when it was empty. I didn't realize that might not be normal until later. You know how they sometimes take a group of teenage girls and give them a lecture on eating disorders? I was always like, "But how can you not eat? OMG that would hurt so bad." So I was told this was a very sensible and healthy thing, this pain. If I wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep I always have to get up and eat something, just in order to dull the pain, even though I'm not hungry and don't want to move. I even know what foods will best do it in the smallest amounts. It can't be watery things like fruits. It has to be something with some stickyness and heft like almond butter. I have attempted to treat this problem with Matula tea, mastic gum, licorice concentrate, zinc carnosine, pine nut oil, and all sorts of other things, but none of them have done the trick. 

I know there are groups out there who think all us health dieters are suffering from a mad case of orthorexia and that trusting our cravings and eating more food and raising the metabolism is the key. In fact I still follow the works of Matt Stone because I like to see all sides of the debate. I wish that were the case but I've tried it, eating massive amounts of salt, fat, and sugar, and taking my temperature (which contrary to what you would expect for someone with a fair amount of hypothyroid symptoms isn't low anyway) and it didn't make any difference in anything. 

Guru Kevin believes diet is the way to go.  In fact he says diet WILL be what heals me. If I recall correctly I think that might potentially mean supplements but mostly means food. Real food is first and foremost. So I'm back on the paleoplus track (that unfortunately tends to mean paleo plus more restrictions, not paleo plus more non-paleo foods). What I'm gonna try out as soon as I eat up all my fruits (kinda difficult when all your melons are just ripening in the garden) is a ketogenic paleo-type diet with no eggs or dairy, nope not even ghee, because I'm sensitive to them. It will consist of meat, non-starchy vegetables, and some nuts and seeds. Its gonna be a major bitch. Given my love for variety at least i have access to every meat and non-starchy vegetable there is. Lamb testes here I come! If you want to know how my crazy restrictive diet turns out please subscribe.  

xoxo, 

-Emily, The Super Sensitive Human