Synchronicity Watch: Tucker Max vs. Deepak Chopra
In my post, A Primer on Synchronicity, Or Why Your Computer Broke Today, I reported that I might start a feature called synchronicity watch. Well, here is the first installment.
Today's synchronicities come to us from two guys at opposite ends of the spectrum. The first is an unlikely source: Tucker Max. For those of you who don't know, Tucker Max is most famous for inventing the literary genre of “fratire”, which mostly involves him publishing true stories about alcoholism, sexual conquests, insulting people, and reveling in his own displays of shocking narcissism. In regard to the last two, he is not entirely unlike current Republic presidential candidate Donald Trump. Except I believe Tucker Max is much, much more clever than Trump...but equally an asshole, a quintessential smartass.
Now, normally I'd put in an affiliate link here to the book, but not today. Please, despite your curiosity, don't read a Tucker Max book. With each paragraph you will become a worse person.**
“Why did you read it then, Emily?”
*Frowns, looks away.*
I can't just cut and paste because the section in question is too long and that would be a copyright infringement, but it's an excellent example of an extreme negative synchronicity and it goes something like this:
Tucker's friend Junior and Junior's obnoxious girlfriend are all living together. One night, unbeknownst to Tucker the two lovers decide to spontaneously get married. No one knows they are married. Eventually, the story comes out: They were drinking, decided to get hitched, and called up a priest and lawyer friend to meet them in a public gazebo on the beach. While they are exchanging their vows a car comes barreling down the street and smashes into the seawall at 50 mph.
The people don't die but they are pretty injured. As they pull the female passenger out of the wreck the explanation that emerges from her shocked babbling is that the couple was fighting and the male driver had just attempted murder-suicide by ramming them into the seawall. The ambulances come and take care of everything. Junior still has blood on his sweater. He doesn't want to get married anymore. The girlfriend still does. They argue about it until finally he relents.
This is a synchronicity so big, that even Tucker Max gets it:
While Junior is religious in the normal way that most people are, I am not. I don’t practice any sort of religion and I don’t believe in God, at least not in the type of God that organized monotheistic religions are based on. And I don’t really even believe in fate, at least not in the way most people think of fate, but still…sometimes certain signs should not be ignored.
Tucker “Junior, YOU BELIEVE IN GOD!! If there was EVER a time to believe in that type of shit, if there was EVER a time to pay attention to the signs that the universe sends you, THIS WAS THE FUCKING TIME!”
Tucker “God was so against you marrying her, he TRIED TO KILL A COUPLE AT YOUR WEDDING!!”
Junior “I know.”
Tucker “AND YOU STILL GOT MARRIED!!???!?!!?! THAT VERY NIGHT!!!”
Tucker “WITH THE BLOOD OF THE WOMAN ON YOUR SWEATER!!!!”
Naturally, this marriage ended in horrific divorce.
The moral of this story is life will let you know if you are heading in the wrong direction. It will let you know louder and louder until you listen. Now, this is a screaming negative, one stop short of the actual participants in the marriage getting killed or injured, but no doubt something bad happened on the day Junior got together with this woman, maybe something small like having a rude waiter at the restaurant they went to on their first date, or finding a dead rat in the yard upon returning home. Then on the day she moved into the house, maybe something a little bigger, like breaking the touchscreen on a phone, or losing an important work client. Maybe there were signs that went ignored on the way to the beach that night, having to step over a junkie sprawled out on the sidewalk, or getting passed on the freeway by a bevy of wailing cop cars.
Tucker is smart, perceptive enough to know that this relationship was doomed from the very beginning, enough to know that this occurrence was not random. But he isn't that smart, because if he were this story wouldn't be a point of pride. He would never be friends or live with people willing to indulge in such fucked up behavior in the first place. But what can you expect? He's the king of fucked up behavior, Tucker Max. He's made his fortune on just that.
The second story, to balance things out, is from a Deepak Chopra book. The book isn't great, but I don't mind naming it and it won't drop your vibration enough to cause a negative synchronicity just from reading it. It's called The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire: Harnessing the Infinite Power of Coincidence. This one doesn't have quite the personal flavor of Max's (he actually included the newspaper clipping of the accident as proof) but we'll give Chopra the benefit of the doubt and assume it's true.
David was in love with a woman named Joanna. He was utterly in love, but a little tentative about commitment and marriage. He finally decided that he would take Joanna to a park and propose to her. He was still leery of commitment, but when he awoke that morning he felt overcome by a feeling of peace, a sense that all would be well. David set out the picnic blanket and was just getting up the nerve to pop the question when a plane flew overhead trailing an advertising banner. Joanna looked up and said, “I wonder what that banner says.” Without thinking David blurted out, “The banner says, 'Joanna, marry me.'” The both looked more closely, and there indeed was a banner that read, JOANNA, MARRY ME. She fell into his arms, they kissed, and at that moment David knew that marrying her was exactly right for him. The next day, they read in the local newspaper that someone else had proposed to his girlfriend, Joanna, with a banner over the park; the plane just happened to be overhead at exactly the right moment for David. The remarkable coincidence was a clue to David's future, a miracle. The two remain happily married to this day.
This is a more typical example of a synchronicity in that people often attribute startling coincidences to positivity and flow. But, in fact, there are good miracles, bad miracles, and average miracles. Everything is a miracle.
A bad synchronicity isn't necessarily horrific. For example, I once ran into a guy that I briefly dated in college on the East Coast, 10 years later on the West Coast. I was going into a coffee shop just as he was exiting. A few seconds later he would have been gone. We exchanged numbers but I never followed up.
Some might think that was a mistake, perhaps we were meant to reconnect. But I'm glad I didn't because looking back I'm pretty sure that I was off-course the first time we hung out and that I was off-course again this time. (One clue is that I'd just gotten my Cali driver's license so I could look less conspicuous driving around large quantities of weed. Kinda fun, but probably not in my Self's highest interest as a career choice).
This improbable encounter was just a reflection of me reverting to some immature behavior, or delving back into a similarly-toned shady energy. Nothing unpleasant happened. I didn't harbor ill will toward him, but meeting this guy was the "bad" thing.
The external is nothing but a reflection of what is happening internally. So, if you're planning your own marriage, keep these stories in mind. And if you have an interesting positive or negative dating synchronicity, share it in the comments below.
* Okay, here is the reference if you really must know. Max, Tucker (2012-02-05). Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers (Kindle Locations 1605-1607). Blue Heeler Books. Kindle Edition.
-Emily, The Super Sensitve Human